Rumble in the ‘hood, motherhood, that is.

Have you seen the video? This one, by Similac—Sisterhood of Motherhood.

The atmosphere on social media has become toxic in so many ways, and mothering/parenting has not escaped its poison. The anonymity of commenting, especially if one uses a nom de plume, guarantees very little backlash for disparaging comments made. Everyone is an expert, and everyone, it seems, wants to think that their way is best, and how dare you to choose a different path or method. No area is off limits, from how one becomes pregnant, delivery choices, methods of feeding, stay-at-home-mom (SAHM) versus working mom, whether one pushes (in a stroller) or cuddles (in a Moby). These are just some of the highlights (or lowlights?) of ways mothers and others can use to find fault in how one raises their child. And these aren’t gentle suggestions, they more exactly resemble hate mail and bullying.

The video starts out like a rumble in the park, ala West Side Story. It is humorous without being mean, and gently rebukes those who choose to criticize mothers and fathers. The ending is sweet, and I actually felt tears welling up inside. The message is well taken, let’s stop bullying with words. Let’s support our compatriots in life, no matter what path they choose. Let’s just all get along.

18 thoughts on “Rumble in the ‘hood, motherhood, that is.

  1. Hear, hear! Great post. I was surprised when I first became aware of this latest shame game. It’s sad, isn’t it? Loved the video. I got a lump in my throat at the end.

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    • Yes, I don’t understand why people have to be so mean to each other. There’s room for all at the table of life. Hopefully the video will be widely viewed and open some eyes. Unfortunately, the ones who are most guilty are often too blind to see themselves.

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  2. I’m not sure everyone is using a nom de plume. I think some are using a nom de guerre. I ran into a twitter conversation involving a young woman who writes for “The New Republic” the other day. Her responses to a couple of people who criticized her was so terrible I’ll not even link to it. It involved suggesting they do things to themselves I couldn’t even type, let alone say. In fact, I had to resort to the Urban Dictionary to figure out some of it!

    I don’t have any friends in that age group any more, apart from the blogosphere. But I have noticed that the level of angst is sky-high. One young woman who decided to stop breastfeeding nearly destroyed herself with self-imposed guilt and anxiety. I just don’t get it. So many so-called “feminists” today seem utterly incapable of thinking for themselves: making a reasoned decision, and living with it. Of course, back in the 70s, we were fighting to give women choices, and claim them for ourselves. Today’s young women often seem to be utterly perplexed and incapable of making the choices that are available to them.

    Of course, the phenomenon is everywhere. Take food. I don’t give a flip if someone wants to eat a vegan diet, or Paleo, or South Beach, or low-fat or high carb. But don’t tell me I’m immoral and killing the planet because I like a steak now and then, or that I’d be ever so much happier if I whipped up an alfalfa smoothie every morning. It makes me irritable. 🙂

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    • I know, it really is horrible out there. It’s one reason I quit Facebook. People just can’t seem to be reasonable and accepting anymore, at least when it comes to social media forums. I’ve been much happier since I left.

      I read the article, and at first I had to look at the website to make sure it wasn’t The Onion. I had no idea there was such a thing. I could only answer yes to one question, about the meal planning, and the only reason I do that is when I’m trying to make sure I use up the available food in my pantry and fridge before I shop for more. People are strange.

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  3. I loved how this turned out. It deflates all that pompous righteousness perfectly. Having said that, I’ve definitely been guilty, in my young mom days, of feeling righteous about the breast-feeding thing and looking down my nose at those French mothers who were brainwashed into believing that 3 months was the absolute max. And I’m still judgemental, unfortunately, although about different things. It’s a lifelong condition, apparently (and not one I’m proud of) so things like this video are good for nudging me into awareness – once again.
    That whole nasty internet thing is just, well, nasty. I rarely comment anywhere except for fun on FB, but the other day I made an exception for a newspaper article about something or other. When I saw what some others had written, I went from 0-60 in a nanosecond, ready to retaliate for what I saw as bigoted, racist comments. I didn’t, but it was kind of horrifying to realise how ready I was to play that same stupid game. The anonymity is probably the number 1 factor, in my book, followed closely by not having to look anybody in the eye when you say it.

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    • Oh, yeah, I’ve been there, too. But there’s being self-righteous, and there’s being fanatic and downright mean about it. I can’t imagine that you were ever mean.

      It IS easy to get caught up in the drama on FB, and one of the main reasons I quit. I would get really stressed out trying to make idiots understand why I was right and they were wrong. Ha! They were trying to prove the same thing, so it’s fighting a losing battle, and not worth the rise in blood pressure. I really don’t miss that. I miss you, though, and a few other people.

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      • No, I don’t think I was ever mean about my rightness – only snide in private. Did I ever recommend a book called ‘Being Wrong – Adventures in the Margins of Error’ to you? It’s brilliant. Wonderfully well-written and impressively researched – I think it’s a must read for everybody on the planet 🙂 .

        I miss you on FB, too. I rarely think to look at Instagram and am not a fan of not being able to enlarge pictures! I guess you couldn’t just sneak back to FB under a pseudonym, just for those of us who agree with your politics???

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  4. Very good post, Susan. And good video. I just don’t get it. These are choices that don’t hurt other people, that are no one else’s business. I’ll give a break to people who will say they don’t understand or it’s not their thing but don’t degrade a difference. That goes with anything — from fashion to dietary choice to hobbies! Thanks for sharing it. Very nice.

    Liked by 1 person

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