Nighty-night

Is it only me, or do other women my age who have been married for an eternity think  there comes a time in one’s marriage when each spouse should have their own room? I mean, I love my husband with all my heart, but we keep each other awake. I get up to pee, then he gets up, then I get up again, then he gets up again. He snores, I snore…and I’m not even going to mention other sounds of the night which make me want to hit him someone. He has acid reflux and has to get up and take something. It’s getting to the point where some nights I feel as if I haven’t had even a two-hour stretch of uninterrupted sleep. Gaaaah!

The sleeping part doesn’t even take into account the bathroom issues. Men are disgusting pigs, plain and simple. If I didn’t love him so much, I would have killed him years ago. I want my own bathroom with my own toilet…which stays clean for a week. Seriously, if I were to ever build a house, I would design a master bathroom with two separate water closets…one for the pig and one for the princess. My throne would remain pristine. He would clean his own sty. Or not…his choice.

When the husband is away on a trip, I sleep like a baby. I stay up as late or go to bed as early as I wish without anyone getting his nose out of joint, and I sleep until I’m ready to get up. I want to be able to do this every single night (with visiting privileges, of course) and not feel guilty, or have people think that my marriage is falling apart. I actually believe that this one simple act would help me make it to our golden years together.

So, what is the consensus? Am I a selfish spoiled brat who only wants what’s best for me? Or am I due this little courtesy after putting in 38 years of hard labor? Is it better to be a sleep-deprived grouch, or a rested and “friendly” wifey? And, most importantly, how do I broach the subject?