I survived Thanksgiving day (that hasn’t always been the case), avoided Black Friday like the Black Plague (except now, apparently, it isn’t just BF, it’s BF weekend), managed to divert most of my father-in-law’s minutiae-loaded stories to his son and daughter while I pretended to be busy elsewhere, and even baked a fifth pumpkin pie yesterday morning, because we were “running out.”
The said father-in-law and his dear wife, my husband’s mother, who is long-suffering in the extreme, left today. How she has put up with his long-winded tales that are always punctuated with “to make a long story short”, and his OCD about the way things are done, and his inability to EVER let her finish a sentence for the last twenty-one years since he retired, I have no clue. I would have either killed him or divorced him by now. But he is a wonderful man in many, many ways, and I love him dearly. I’m just glad that I don’t have to live with him. I suppose if I do at some point, then I will have to develop calluses on my ears, or wear ear plugs. Or maybe my hearing will be shot by then. For sure, my eyes are.
Or maybe it’s just my glasses. Everyone says “oh, I love your glasses, where did you get them?” JC Penney, if you must know. They always have that two-for-one deal and I needed prescription sunglasses as well as the regular ones, and I was at the mall, so. I love the look of them, too. The pearly white sides with the silver filigree pieces really complement the silvery-white hair that surrounds my face, and they kind of disguise the enormous bags under my eyes that seem to have developed in the last couple of years. They’re progressive lenses, which means I’m old and can’t see pretty much any distance without them. Far distance has been shot since I was 21, but about ten years ago I had to go with the reading and computer distances, and it’s a wonderful thing to not have to stretch your arms like that rubbery-armed super hero (can’t think of his name—another sign of old age), or not have to hold the laptop up to your face and type at the same time. But now they’re no longer doing two-thirds of their job. The middle and close up areas of the lenses aren’t working as well, and I’m having to remove them to read books and the newspaper, and hold them just so to see the computer screen clearly. So, I guess I’ll have to get new glasses.
I would like to be able to wear contacts, but I can’t get the danged things on my eyeballs without major effort and lots of tearing up, which makes me look like I’ve just been on a crying jag and also plays havoc with the makeup. The best option, I think, would be Lasik surgery, but I think I’m too chicken and would end up like Carrie Heffernan on ‘King of Queens’. You know, the episode where Doug decides to give her Lasik surgery for her birthday, and something goes wrong and her vision ends up being all blurry? That would be my luck.
The worst thing about wearing glasses is not being able to keep them clean. I think I clean mine at least a dozen times a day, because five seconds after you’ve done it, they’re smeary again. It drives me nuts. I don’t think I was cut out to be a glasses wearer. If you have good vision without correction, thank your lucky stars.
We finished up the leftovers today, and I sent the leftover leftovers home with my in-laws who will warm them up until they’re gone, because five times in a row is never too much. We had pizza yesterday, creating a little buffer zone between the two meals. I stuffed my face again today, but the plan is to have a big salad for supper. I put on my skinniest jeans this morning for a reality check, and let me tell you reality bites.
See you soon,